This Light Of Mine
Born in darkness, but never owned by it.
These songs are flickers of hope,
small fires carried through long nights.
This album is about choosing to shine
when the world gives you every reason not to.
Not loud, not perfect
just honest.
This light of mine
was never meant to burn out
Cherish
How are you staying warm when it’s cold?
no one to hold me I’m sitting alone
my closest homies I reach through a phone
stuck with my dreams but this shit gettin old
How do u stay alive when it hard?
do not acknowledge suppressing the thoughts
my mental heavy
its getting real scary
but I wear this smile I do it for y’all
But really I’m scarred
I’m good at hiding the shit
or y’all really don’t care bout my trauma and shit
on my momma been sitting for summers
but you suspect nothing
but not pointing fingers and shit
but that life that you live?
know I envy
talking bout demons I’m sitting with plenty
my nigga, I’m wasting the time that I’m getting
vent in these raps I just pray that they listen
I paint me a image
but no body checking for me
I’ll be a legend when resting in peace
on my granny
Die if you stepping to me
god is a soldier the weapon is me
I’m just saying
hope that you’re cherishing me
Dance To Depression
How should I feel?
I’m hard to read
can’t tell when bleed
like I’m doing all well
I thought about killing myself
like how do I heal?
I don’t wanna speak today
not proud of myself
Yeah I got homies to to lean on
stand on my own don’t lean on
mentally weak
but you’ll never see
illusion of free I be on
I reminisce about back in the day
was young and reckless not stressing a wage
sun really seem it got darker today
I walk around with a smile on my face
its glowing
need me to help you today?
You not knowing
look at us floating we in the same boat
I’ll fake a laugh and tell you some jokes
shoot you advice that I need on my own
I swear that I need me somebody
to feed me some knowledge
On easing this pain that I own
if I hit the road
then I’m all alone
no folding
I’m scheming and dreaming of gold
How could I stress about a bitch?
got bigger problems so ya know
found me a smile that’ll fit
fool and a coward so u know
I need some power for my soul
I Dance with depressing
I never express it
Im feeling the pressure
I better get cheddar
this weather will leave my ass under the weather
this cold that I’m catching
leaving me fed up
if truth do be told I don’t know where I’m headed
I’m learning these lessons
only thing keeping me sane
is the shit that see when I’m resting
my pen be a weapons
I swear
If I wasn’t writing and rapping these songs
then I’m telling you nigga I’d probably be dead
Neck in a noose I be swinging
these songs that I’m singing
I’m praying to god that you hear
But I know some niggas that struggle for real
no room to whine guessing I gotta deal
I’m minimizing the pain that I feel
And hiding my tears
Hero Pt. 2
03
can you be my hero?
truth be told I be low
know I need some saving baby
maybe you could be hope
shine bright
my light
dimming out can’t figure out why
I built you up
and had you flying higher
touching the sky
But could you do the same?
you see me suffer
told you problem bout me stuck in the rain
like where my umbrella?
I be in cold weather
I brought my own sweater
gotta save myself
because my help don’t seem to know better
Casualty I be
I wonder if somebody praying for me
Casually I be
a poker face so who am I for judging?
I know You feel the vibe
so you should know that I’m not fine
that’s if we’re close as what we say
or was our friendship built on lies?
Let me know
Made sacrifices on the backend
they ever see the light
you’d probably think that I’m a mad man
slight chance
they come back to bite me
see I know the risk and yet I still will have ya back
and that’s no cap
I’m on my ass
I can’t get up
I’m stuck in mud
so please come back
Pretend to give a fuck at least
don’t leave me sitting sad
I’m on my own
talking to myself when I be venting on the phone
reality I’m alone
(Hook)
Now I see you as the villain
I done did a lot for you
you can’t return the feeling?
I get it
many dark days independent
crying out to you
but you pretend u never
Hear me
Know you gotta life to live
the reason I don’t knock you
when you don’t respond to shit
I understand it
guess I gotta man up
like my daddy said
I lick my wounds and try to stand up
stumble with my walking I ain’t even going far
you depend on me like I ain’t bleeding from my scars
Course I’m gonna crash out
put me in a mad house
sometimes get the feelings that really being harsh
I apologize u couldn’t save me
I won’t play the blame game
did it to my myself
guess that what I gets for faking
When you get to see me I be smiling ear to ear
in my mental I be screaming but I know you’ll never hear
So I’ll resume my role
suffer on my own
hear your problems then I’ll help you solve them
like they were my own
but your hero needs some saving
cause I swear he going crazy
switching faces just to make your day
but I’ve been thinking lately
where’s your cape?
Low
Im at a low
But you’ll never know
Roll me a blunt and I’m ready to go
Shit who tryna smoke?
Whenever I’m lucky I try not to boast
It could be a hoax
If I got some bread them I break it with bro
Even though that I’m broke
Came through smiling act like I’m winning
Spilled my cup I stained my denim
Roll that blunt smoke rise to the ceiling
Huh
You kill the vibe then I’m finished
I need it
I feel defeated
I’m always faking emotion can’t see them
I need a bitch to my side just to please me
Maybe her presence could help with my demons
Im sick of stressing these stresses
I wonder what’s next
And I’m learning that time doesn’t wait
I never live in the present
I’m stuck on regrets
And they wont see the look on my face
Don’t know the pressure that sit on my plate?
I Don’t know how much Im willing to take
People be following me like I’m ready to lead
They don’t know that my smile is fake
Nose Bleeds
Head tilted to sky like my nose bleeding
love to fake it for ya eyes so u don’t see me
for the moments when I’m down feel like hope leaving
wanna dance wit me now? Ain’t got no reason
Yeah put my smile on
you be fond of me I had to beat like Michael Jackson
know that I be weak I hide these things to keep yo shine on
pray I find some peace you probably think I ain’t got problems
Hair be nappy like I’m sleeping in rags
i’m not that fast but yet always try to run from my past
I couldn’t fathom all the moments got me sitting here sad
but then I’m talking to my homies they don’t know about my mask
Just like my daddy I be holding trauma never talk the shit
and like my momma people run with problems help the solve the shit
so who be there for me?
I don’t ever dare to speak
if I cry I fail them see
maybe they abandoned
me not fan of me
Lone
Lonely how I’m moving
it’s just me now
smoke one up I’m vibing to this music
since I’m free now
exiled
I’m all alone
tell me who I speak to when I’m at my low?
if I’m you’re hero then it’s sad to say I’ll never know
See you don’t know me though
I won’t let you get to close
so hide ya eyes
you’ll turn to stone
see my demise is on my own
can’t compromise
keep it silent
pain up in my chest but for you I’m smiling
See in my past I got regrets
don’t be a fool like I am
Demons spying
running out of patience hope my day get brighter
sick of fighting
imma call you later just to sit in silence
They’ll be rambling to me I’ll hear em out
but let me show emotions then the conversations weirded out
one sided
they benefit the most when I be down
I suppose I found my purpose I just hope it turns around
Mudstuck
Dry these tears so you won’t see the pain
you see my face
I’ll fool you but this music tells the truth these days
not satisfied with shit
sadly I’m all outta spliffs
no running now
pockets empty told you all I have is lint
some past events left me sacred
who knew life could get so hard
not complaining I’m just saying, nigga
All I see is fog
I don’t know where I be headed
show you calm & steady
on the inside I be screaming
cause my demons hold some weapons
When that sunrise
I should be so proud that I’m awake
I’d rather close eye
dreams be full of bliss though they be fake
I’m scared on both sides
one of them would end the next begins
I don’t really have no friends
they be distant like my kin
To my aunties, yeah
pray to god you find some love within
no more hatred in your heart
I hope you heal and make amends
to my father, yeah
I have some words I hope you understand
it’s okay for you to cry
that don’t make you less a man
To my momma, yeah
know you did the best you ever could
sacrifices for ya babies
always making sure we good
To my my brothers, yeah
pray to god y’all never do give up
no more sleeping on potential
time to wake the city up
I see a cup
I pour it up
I dump it out
then pour it up
I’m indecisive
always fighting wit myself and sure it sucks
but whats fucked up is how I’m flaunting
sometimes taunting like I’m tough
Guess I get it from my daddy
shit be tragic
tried to run
I’m Stuck in mud
Baby Bottle
Just know I’m Zooted off the drink
it got me moving slow
the room is really looping, if I blink
it be my funeral
but see I got some problems
I’ll forget em wit a shot
nigga pour another bottle Imma sip it til I drop
And I put that on my mama
I ain’t tryna feel a sob
Niggas try to twist the knob of my mental
but it’s locked
you ain’t heard me when I vent
why you interested now?
pour this liquor to the brim
say you’ll never make a sound
pray you never peep my frown
imma mold it to crown
it ain’t subtle how I’m coming
i’ve been running for some miles
like the the bubbles in my stomach
imma try to hold this down
i’m a hold it for the longest
pray it never does come out
shoot a smile to deceive em
they’ll be distant for a while
they never crack my mask
see I wear it like I’m proud
for the moment I feel nothing and that’s the only thing I asked for
cure is in this potion
why I’m mimicking my dad for?
Footprints
I got dreams and aspirations
join me on my climb for many miles and different faces
don’t you judge me for my placement
know it’s gonna get so better
doobie smoking and Fantasizing of bigger views
These Niggas really baby
they need a cup of some titty juice
the shit is rude
Bentley coup of bitches banging Biggie’s tunes
don’t bring excuses
tell me how you grinding
what you really doing?
play this this music
To the youth I pray they stand up
see the light up in they eyes
they scheme a plot to get they bands up
to my granny fighting cancer
rest yo eyes and watch me man up
imma get this bag and bless us all
I hope you know I put that on my soul
Scheming from the floor I was broke bitch
sleeping on me now but I know that imma blow bitch
season of the wicked
whacko truly blessed and gifted
facts don’t prove to stupid niggas
who don’t listen
rule of gimmicks
fool these bitches with fake feelings
they can’t ever lie to me
see inside they pretty eyes
I wonder why they doubted me
I was the outcast
best believe I’m not last
shady wit ya movements
playing clueless
for a price tag
its so sad
Regardless
we watching
told me they should ease off me
freedom of my speech
but I aint never with that shit talking
better watch yo shoulders niggas creeping
try to pick pockets
be cautious……
Jesus talking he told you that Danny is the prophet
who can top him?
maybe ya Shorty so I suggest ya watch her
been a problem
most of it started when I had knocked my noggin
leaking faucet
heart really colder than queen Eliz’s body
fuck it
To ease my mind this green I light it up
this piece of mine I squeeze it tight
and that’ll leave you dust
to the busters that don’t hustle, listen
nip it in a bud for riches
get back on yo grind it’s yo demise
no comfort in them trenches
plenty fishes
always bout my business
never stressing bitches
big extensions
brody bust his blick
bloody was the victim
who im kidding?
leader for my sons
tunnel was my vision
come on with me
slumber if you want but then you on my hit list
I’m invisible I hope they see my footprints
the way that I be stepping
leave ya restless
you been knew this
Humble Thoughts
How many raps I gotta write for them to wake up?
talent ain’t necessity
it’s what it seems
not hating
I’m just….stating facts
chose the hardest difficulty
industry’s a game
should I just change up all the shit I’ve spoken?
bigger boasting?
fuck the humble
bitch I know I’m chosen
slicker than a scheming nigga
smoother than yo Shorty’s lotion
vibing to my songs just hoping
that somebody big will notice
End the night with feelings tight
thinking dream was bogus
to my closest friends;
it’s taking longer than I thought
for that see I apologize
and all the extra shit it cost
for never ever popping out
always sitting in a dark
a worthy sacrifice
see in my mind that’s what I thought
Fast forward
the tittle with my friends is getting dropped
missing out on bonding sessions
nigga I ain’t get a call
now that Sydney gotta kid
and my Brody gotta whip
they ask me where do I reside
don’t tell em at my mommas crib
I’m 23
am I a fool for chasing after dreams?
especially what means the most to me
the ones we chased as teens
at 45
I wonder where I’m standing if I breathe
did I settle for a simple failure?
dread what couldn’t be
To my teary eyes
Please go head and take me to my sleep
all the suffering In silence
left a trail that’s why I bleed
The pain is mine
I pray to god to bless me and my demons
may you strengthen up my mental
feed me confidence when speaking
on my momma….
(You know held my granny’s hand as she laid their dying, and I told that we gon’ get that money for her, I thought she couldn’t hear me. But she said ‘okay’)
Its the goat talking
no stopping
fuck it
came a long way from the bottom of the bucket
minimize for thieving eyes like I was up to nothing
but in my mind I scheming dream going by the dozens
message to my brother
keep yo chin held high
don’t fall a victim have you out hear thinking men don’t cry
you’re a human
Find what brings you peace
mine is in the music
all this passion that I leak?
I just pray somebody Tunes it
Blame The Grind
Apologizing for my absence
had a battle with my mental
wear a smile when I be saddened
after all the shit I been through
you can’t tell me to relax
I feel I’m often overlooked
I still be dwelling on the past
but keep it passive
no reaction
when my suffering is tragic
Guess I’m numb to all the bullshit
try to fool you with my laughing
But I know it could be worse than mine
if I’m honest that’s the reason that minimize
Ain’t no whining over her I guess that’s what they taught
don’t look for me I’m in the dark
I need some tree with lighter spark
I’m feeling weak
Write some music then I’m feeling strong
then struggle as an artist
try my hardest not to trash this song
And it’s harder cause I be alone
closest homies really far
tried to bring this broad wit me
but she ain’t see the vision art
The sacrifices of an artist
I think I need to find a balance
find out truly were my heart is
I’ve been focusing the time been really choking me hardest
not invited to some shit for past events I wasn’t part of
Blame the grind
All I knows how to be vulnerable on these tracks
That’s why I say that this rap shit does passion for the music is a blessing and a curse sometimes I often wonder what will my life be like if I never pursue this I guess we’ll never know
Momma's Words
Tunnel vision had left me a loner
it seems im in a constant battle with blessings and curses
like I said I where a smile even tho that I’m hurting
I feel the only time I’m free is when writing these verses
That’s the truth
only time I’m living when venting feelings inside the booth
truth be told I be recluse
summers cold
I’m in my room
plotting music
dreamed that I’d succeed see I just had to prove it
Because my cries they ain’t never been heard
now that I’m blunt with my words
speak then yo feelings get hurt
flock with the birds
death of my granny and thought of a hearse
cruising the city we sat in somber
our sorrow was heard
thought it would purge
until my mother was drowning in hurt/ she had got dark with her words
I held my momma when her momma died
wonder why she had asked
what you gonna do when ya momma pass
can’t prepare
see you scared but life, life ain’t ever fair
just pretend
blinded by the bliss until it hits
were immune is how we live
Like we was kids
running from a finger tip
game of tag
one day you’re it
your time will come to lay to rest
so u keep dealing with that stress
all that weight up on ya chest
will some day soon begin to lift
Lessons
I’m sick of waiting
I’m plotting daily
and praying that some day my life get some changes
my nigga I’m saying
I had some patience
I’m seeing that that waiting will leave yo ass vacant
i gotta go get it
I’m plotting on digits, my nigga
know that couldn’t fix all my issues, my nigga
but why would I knock getting richer?
I gotta get figures
not stressing no bitches
i might and up missing
I’m dipping
the moment I get it
just chilling wit me and my niggas
I swear that this minute
never extended, my nigga
don’t waste all the time that you getting
cause that leave you sick (I swear)
know that I’m talking my shit
bet I got yo attention my mind in a milli (I swear) think I’m the best in the city
like who am I kidding?
don’t wait on blessings no more go and get it
not really stressing no hoe, fuck them bitches
yeah I got cousins that came from the trenches
reason I hustle to show em that strength really comes from ya soul
I can not fold
I feel the pressure on me but I’m strong
I learn some lessons indeed hope ya know
one day this peasant will reach for some gold
I need a bag in this bitch
yeah I’m after these figures I need em
I told you no sleeping on me
Came from the struggle
and sleeping on sofas
my momma is waiting on taxes to eat
I got my diploma
I told her the struggle is over
if I share the passion I speak
nigga, after some weeks
Summer was over
was nervous but man I’m just glad she believed
This shit take time
open ya eyes
i light a spliff then I’m feeling the vibe
numb to the pain that I deal in my life
cope with the stress grab my pen then I write
I ain’t after the green for my neck froze
I had lost out on sleep cause my bed broke
yet I still had a dream to achieve
use to hope nobody see when I bleed
Niggas really moving backwards
my mic be the passage
I grab it
I shower in music
my passion
I won’t push it passive
I’m passing an ass of my demons
it’s something you could never fathom
I stopped being scary
know that I’m ready to face it
this be a real smile though I normally fake it
a rose from the pavement I be
Fought a against odds now I’m destined to be
I thank you for your interest in this album.
this was the first album I felt like I crafted right. The first album where I felt like an artist. it holds so much weight in my heart and I'll forever cherish it.
Cherish
this was a perfect tone setter for the album. I remember listening to it a million times after recording it. I fell in love with the vulnerability I displayed. it's so real. cherish me while I'm here because I could be gone in an instant.
Dance To Depression
acknowledging that you're depressed is the first step to healing. this songs about owning all the lows life as thrown at you. it became an anthem to me. my mind has taking me to dark places. this song gave me light.
Hero Pt.2
it sucks to be there for someone 24/7 but never receive the same energy back. have you ever expressed that you've been fucked up to someone you trust and just ignored? I'd drop everything for you but you won't lift a grain for me? understood.
Low
this song was so fun to create. it took me like 30mins and it was a freestyle. despite the subject matter I felt really good recording this song. I used to perform it I'm my bedroom to an imaginary crowd of millions lol.
Nosebleeds
I used to get a lot of nose bleeds as a kid. it was ridiculous. I remember anxiety kicking in because I thought my brain was bleeding lol. But I just think there's something poetic about keeping your head up during a nose bleed.
keep you chin up despite you circumstances.
Lone
I almost scrapped this song because I didn't like it.
then Jaxon an Zeke sent their verses back and I was amazed. I fuck with the messaging in this song heavy.
Mudstuck
you ever feel like everything is pointless? there was so much going on when I wrote this one. I wanted to address it all in one song. sent a message to the ones I love while relating that I'm in limbo.
Baby Bottle
drinking is a common way to cope in my family.
I seen my parents attempt to drink their sorrows all my life. of course I followed their footsteps to see what the hype was about. what's crazy is I hate being drunk. shout out V1V1D for the verse. he went crazy.
Footprints
"Im invisible, I hope they see my footprints."
I had the phrase in my notes for years before I laid this song down. it's such a strong statement. I want my impact to be felt even if I'm not seen.
Humble Thoughts
I hit my breaking point. I was fed up with the pursuit of my dreams and I started asking real questions. How much longer? I sacrificed so much. lost friends, didn't go out and live, all because I had a dream. will it all be worth it in the end?
Blame The Grind
this is an apology to all the ones that felt like I've abandoned them. I had pure tunnel vision on my goals. blinded by the light that was my dreams.
Momma's Words
this song was based off a convo I had with my mother. I cherish the words and wisdom of my mother. Mike's verse on this song legit made me shed tears. powerful. my fave song on the album by far.
Lessons
closing the album by saying I've learned from what I've been through. we have to keep moving forward. This was the perfect way to end the album to me.